It was in 2011’s long-awaited Scream 4, that Neve Campbell’s Sidney Prescott landed the mic-drop closing line about remakes: “Don’t f**k with the original!” That was now 15 years ago, four Scream entries ago, ending Wes Craven’s return (and swan song) to the series with a poor box office performance and no sign of this series ever returning. That is until we got the fifth entry in 2022 by Radio Silence duo Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett, which surprisingly revived the dormant franchise by… well, essentially doing Scream 4 again, but with better cultural timing. Once again, the theme of “don’t f**k with the original” under the guise of “lega-sequels” and reboots instead of remakes clicked with audiences.

While leaning on nostalgia, having its cake and rolling around in it too, it did finally pass the torch to a new crew of young survivors, allowing Sidney Prescott to essentially pass her curse of constant trauma onto someone else. Scream VI (2023), while bringing back Courtney Cox (and attempting to court Campbell back, who thankfully declined), did switch up the setting and carve out a fresh new path for “Core Four” leads Sam and Tara Carpenter (Melissa Barrera and Jenna Ortega) and Chad and Mindy Meeks-Martin (Mason Gooding and Jasmin Savoy-Brown). Sequels could continue and Sidney could finally have her happy ending.

But studio greed, bad politics, corporate nonsense, two director swaps, “scheduling conflicts”, and a wrongful termination I’m sure we’re all aware about led Paramount (under Spyglass Media Group rule) to beg for Neve Campbell’s return (as well as original screenwriter Kevin Williamson in the director’s chair) and resort back to the same old playbook they’ve done now twice over, and to finally have Sidney “face her past for the first time” for the sixth time. But Paramount, you forgot the first rule about remakes!

Scream 7 opens with the house of original killer Stu Macher, now transformed into an AirBnB, brought back to its original layout four years after the finale of Scream 5 when it belonged to the family of eventual Ghostface Amber Freeman. Woodsboro Murders and horror film expert Scott (Jimmy Tatro) and his girlfriend Madison (Michelle Randolph) attempt to spend one creepy night in the house where many were slaughtered. It’s all fun and games until they, of course, become victims to the figure in the white mask with the stretched mouth. From there, the house is destroyed. Burn the past down, the film is declaring. An admittedly fun opening with a statement that goes absolutely nowhere.

From there, we are introduced to Tatum Evans (Isabel May), the daughter of Sidney Prescott and Mark (no, not that Mark from Scream 3, another Mark that’s a cop because Patrick Dempsey was not available to return) Evans, played by Joel McHale. They now reside peacefully in the town of Pine Grove, Indiana. Sidney runs an autumnal coffee shop and Tatum is a high school theatre kid. Among her drama friends are Hannah Turman (McKenna Grace), Chloe Parker (Celeste O’Connor), Lucas Bowden (Asa Germann), and her boyfriend Ben Brown (Sam Rechner) who sneaks in from her bedroom window much like her mother’s former serial killer high school boyfriend. They even kiss to the exact same cover of “Don’t Fear the Reaper!” One of many copy-pastes the film feels the need to make from the 1996 film.

Tatum has a contentious relationship with her mom, who refuses to talk about her past with her daughter. She tells her that everything she needs to know is out there: Stab films, documentaries, books, the internet, etc. Yet there is something deeper Tatum is trying to understand about her overly protective mom as well as a begging allowance to make her own choices. Sidney’s life isn’t her life. Sidney’s past doesn’t determine her future. Except, as the movie’s existence claims of course, it absolutely does. After a brutal murder spree and a horrifying link to her past reemerges (possibly real or possibly through the use of alarmingly accurate AI technology), Sidney must yet-again go out into the battlefield to save her daughter.

What is most frustrating about Scream 7 is that it almost works, despite all its trouble in being made in the first place. A version of this, had the last two films be non-existent, would have felt like a nice throwback return-to-form. The first half has a few blemishes, but sets up a likable group of friends, gnarly kills, and a pretty nuanced relationship between now-parent Sidney and her daughter. It even feels more in line and in aesthetic with Wes Craven’s original films, including Marco Beltrami returning to score. The stabby-stab set pieces are clever and gruesome, the suspense is well-drawn out, and a few good jokes land. There is a pleasant amount of confidence in this direction for Scream, even without movie-obsessed teens or any real parallel to “the rules of a [blank] entry”. In fact, the “rules” scene (done in every installment) is incredibly redundant and borderline useless. This franchise at this point has run out of rules, causing this film and any future films to come, unable to be a satire on anything. The Scream films have indeed become the in-movie-verse Stab films: the pandering, never-ending horror franchise that just won’t die. But as a slasher movie, it is effective and it is entertaining, though only for the first half or so.

Once technology has properly infected itself into the plot, not only does “jingly keys” nostalgia replace storytelling, it’s also just off-putting to look at. Yes, as reported, many of the original cast members, mostly past killers, who have long died, return in this installment in some form. Whether or not they are actually alive (let’s be real here, movie, we’re not that stupid) is to be determined, but when they do appear, it isn’t so much that the characters are back. Instead, it’s distractingly obvious that these actors walked on set with a few hours to kill, read their lines, and got their paycheck. Like video wall screens of characters that you see at Disneyland while you’re waiting in line for a ride. The laziness of implementing this technology into the Scream narrative is not only ridiculous (it makes the ‘voice changer” tech in Scream 3 seem acceptable for 2000) but also never makes a point about the dangers of the technology in the first place. The plot, so reliant on AI being a weapon in its script, has no concern for the ramifications of AI or how it could potentially impact its characters in this situation. It’s just a throw-away excuse to bring back familiar faces.

Beyond that, the actual story takes a nosedive both with its characters and, at its worst, its killer reveal and motivation. We give Ehren Kruger a rough time for his contributions to the franchise, meanwhile what Kevin Williamson, James Vanderbilt, and Guy Busick do with their $500,000 script turnaround is completely misunderstand the teachings of Scream and Sidney Prescott. It’s shocking to see the Williamson of 1996 seem to be so burnt-out of ideas that the Williamson of 2026 deems this message-tainting use of his franchise acceptable just for a paycheck. What the film says about survivor-trauma in its finale is ghastly and shameless.

It’s tough to enjoy the fun knife-wielding chases when the story is making so many poor choices. You can see the seeds of a good Scream sequel poking out but never being properly developed. Returning faces of Gooding and Savoy-Brown should feel inviting, but their characters (now junior reporters for Gale Weathers?) feel desperately shoe-horned in to find a connection to the last two for its audience and glaringly out-of-place. Sidney’s character is the only one here with real purpose, one that is properly developed to fit her situation, but how many times can we see her going through this? How many times can we see her survive so many punctures to the gut and not wind up just a talking head in a jar? Truly the only one who comes out of this like fireworks is McKenna Grace, whose screentime is lacking, but evokes all the best qualities of a young Sarah Michelle Gellar.

Despite all of its misgivings and faults, there will be more Scream movies. Ones that likely will be made without the amount of production issues this one dealt with but still assembled on the same conveyer belt. It will take the sheer will of a thousand Gods to make a Scream film with the same cultural footprint as the original, damned if they even try. Should they find a pulse somewhere, with a script that actually has something new to say, the best of luck to them. Unfortunately, Scream 7 is a soggy reminder of where we are with modern corporate-mandated cinematic continuations. A film made in bad faith, with blasphemous execution, bound to be a rare skip on horror franchise marathon rewatches.